The New Survival Guide
by Lizzierose33
Summary: Twenty years after the finale,Ned,Moze and Cookie are back for their reunion. They haven't spoken to each other in thirteen years. Secrets will be revealed and they'll learn the true meaning of the term survival.(I suck at summaries just read).
1. Prologue

Although the school year had only started a week ago Ned and his friends Cookie and Jennifer, were already sick of it.

One day, it was a Tuesday, Ned and Jennifer were sitting on the swings at recess waiting for Cookie, talking about their new classmates.

"There are three Jennifer's in our class, so now I'm not Jennifer, I'm Jennifer M. I hate my name, why can't I have a name like yours,"asks Jennifer as she watches Ned pump on the swings.

"How about I give you a nickname like I did with Cookie,"Ned says as he continues pumping on the swings.

"Ok, I like that,"Jennifer asks.

"How about Moze,"Ned suggests as he jumps off the swing and onto the ground in front of him.

"I like it,"says Jennifer ,Moze, as Cookie comes running from the school towards them with Billy Loomer following him.

"Help, help, help"Cookie yells as Ned ushers him into the jungle gym out of Loomer's sight.

"Where did Cook go,"Loomer asks, even for a seven-year-old was very scary.

"He went to go tell Mrs. Gibbs you were chasing him, so you'd better go hide before you get in big trouble,"Ned says as Loomer starts looking for their teacher before he runs off in the other direction.

"Okay Cookie he's gone we're coming in,"Ned says as he and Moze climb into the jungle gym and sits down in the little area under it with Cookie.

"That guy is crazy,"Cookie says cleaning his glasses with his shirt.

"What did you do this time,"Moze asks.

"He said that the computer in the classroom was too hard to use, and I said it was so easy to use a monkey could do it. He thought I was calling him a monkey, then I said I wasn't he realized I meant he was dumber than a monkey so he started chasing me"Cookie says putting his glasses back on his face.

"That's crazy,"said Ned smiling.

"Not really, he is dumber than a monkey,"Cookie says as they all start laughing.

"Let's make a pact that we'll all stay friends forever,"Ned says not wanting this to end.

"Alright,"Moze responds.

"I'm in,"Cookie adds.

"Ok to make it official I'll put it in the guide,"Ned says picking up the notebook he carried everywhere.

"Ned Bigby, Jennifer Mosby and Simon Nelson Cook vow to stay best friends forever or until the day we die, whatever comes last,"Ned says as he writes it all down.

"Why does Jennifer's name go first,"asks Cookie.

"We're going in order of last names and it's Moze now,"Moze says crossing her arms.

"I like it did you come up with it,"Cookie asks Ned.

"Yep, ok to make this official we need to sign it,"Ned says passing around his pencil.

They all sign the best they could trying to make it look official, when they were done they stayed in the jungle gym until they had to go back inside.

At the time they really thought they would be friends forever, but they grew up and they grew apart, but this isn't about that this is about what happened after.

After they were separated for years and came together for one night, a night that will change everything.


	2. Chapter 1

**Twenty-seven years later**

* * *

**Ned**

* * *

**Los Angeles, California**

* * *

The shooting of the final episode of the second season of Ted's Guide to Surviving School was wrapping up and Ned Bigby the show's producer, director, and main writer had a lot on his mind.

His three daughters were in his office waiting for him to finish up because their nanny Kirsten, had dropped them off an hour ago because her mother had fallen down and was now in the hospital.

If that wasn't enough to deal with, he was still debating whether not he was going to go home that weekend.

Not his six-bedroom mansion in Beverly Hills, he meant Syracuse, New York.

The place where he grew up, went to school, and the place where his parents still lived.

"Ollie if you jump that shark you're a dead man,"Spencer Goodman, who's character Ted Rigby was based on Ned when he was in middle school, says.

"I have to guys if I don't I forfeit the dare, and my popularity goes down the toilet,"Samuel Ross,who's character Oliver St John was based off Ned's former best friend Cookie, says.

Ned really missed Cookie.

"Ollie,you have no popularity don't do this,"says Olivia Willis who's character Harper Hawkins was based on his ex-girlfriend, Moze.

"I'm doing it,"says Sam as he gets on the brightly colored motorcycle which matches the stupid jumpsuit they made him wear.

Sam starts the bike and drives it a few feet before, he gets off and trades spots with a stunt man.

The stunt man, Greg, drives the bike onto the ramp over the fake shark and onto the ground again, but the audience will just see a picture they took of Sam earlier that week looking scared and the words to be continued under it.

You know what they say always leave them wanting more.

"Alright, that is a wrap. Good job everybody,"Ned says as he stands up clapping.

"Alright,"Spencer yells hugging Olivia and Sam and giving Ned a high five.

"I want to thank everybody for a great second season and let's save some of that energy for a great third,"Ned says standing up on the box they were using for that scene and popped open the bottle of coke someone had handed him.

The actors and crew start cheering and hugging each other, while Ned hands Olivia the coke bottle and goes back to his office.

No one notices him leave.

His three daughters Holly,Kayla and Sarah are quietly playing with their barbies or watching the small tv in the corner of his office.

He just stands there for a few minutes watching them, they all look like their mother.

He really missed her sometimes.

"Hey, guys,"he says finally walking into his office.

"Hi Daddy,"Holly says, Sarah gives him a wave and goes back to her barbie, but Kayla doesn't even notice he's there or pretends not to.

"So how about we go home and order a pizza,"Ned says as he sits down on the couch next to Kayla.

"Okay,"Sarah says as she starts to clean up her barbie clothes.

"Can we get it from Pizza Hut?"Holly asks standing up and walking over to her Dad.

"Where else would we get it from Mars,"Ned asks as Holly exclaims in joy.

"Kay what do you think"Ned asks his daughter who still hasn't said anything.

"It's okay,"says Kayla as she gets off the couch and goes to help Sarah clean up her dolls.

Kayla had been ignoring him like that since Kim died, and that's been about six months.

"Alright let's go,"Ned says as he turns off the tv and him and his girls head out.

Once they get back to their house and Ned orders the pizza, he puts a Disney movie in for the girls so they're completely distracted.

While they're doing that Ned looks on his laptop for plane tickets.

If there were no available flights it was a sign he shouldn't go home, but there were four seats available in first class so that's a sign he should go.

Ned thought over the pros and cons.

Pro, he'd get the girls out of the city which would be good for them and they'd get to see their grandparents whom they haven't seen since Kim died.

Con, he'd have to see all of the people he left behind when he made it big, that wouldn't go over well.

But the pros outweigh the cons so he books the tickets, calls his Mom and tells her that he and the girls were coming.

It's been thirteen years he had to face the past some time.

* * *

**Jennifer Mosley-Jones**

* * *

**Washington, D.C.**

* * *

Jen was stressed out.

She had a meeting with her newest client which hadn't gone as well as she had hoped.

She'd been late to drop her kids off with Parker's friend's Mom, then she had to go to court, and she was really late, not the kind of impression you want to make when your fighting for sole custody of your kids.

Jen and her husband Jake started having problems three years ago when their youngest daughter was born and it hit an all-time low when her oldest son Parker, told her he'd walked in on his Dad and their neighbor Rachel, in bed together.

And Jake even had the nerve to try and bribe Parker for his silence, but Parker and his Dad had never been all that close so this just pushed Parker over the edge and he told her what happened the second she got home.

She kicked Jake out that night.

Of course, there was no parking at the court house so she had to drive around the block three times before she finally found a spot.

Way to make a great first impression Jen.

Days like this makes her want to take that offer from that firm from LA that has been hounding her for the last few months.

She raced the block to the courthouse to find her lawyer waiting outside of the courthouse doors for her.

"You're late,"says her lawyer, a middle age man named Andy Peters.

"I know,I'm sorry. Work and traffic. Have they started yet?"Jen asks as she straightens out her skirt.

"No lucky for you the last case went late.

They walk over to their court and Jen sees her soon to be ex-husband talking to his lawyer.

"Jake"Jen says as she walks up.

"Jenny,"he says at the same time.

Okay let's not start any fights here,let's be as civilized as possible"says Jake lawyer,Rachel.

Yes, that Rachel.

"Fine,"Jen says, she was to tired to fight.

"That's all I want,"Jake says, although Jen knew he liked to fight, he liked to win.

"Alright let's go,"Andy says as the doors open up and the last case walks through everybody giving each other dirty looks,guess it didn't go well.

They go in, Jen and Andy sits at one table while Jake and Rachel sit at the other.

The judge, an older man with snow white hair, enters and starts to speak,"The custody case of Parker Walker Jones, Alec Lucas Jones,Maddison Eddie Jones and Ryan Faith Jones. Are the defendants both present".

"Yes, your honor,"Andy says standing up.

"Now I have read the case file and I would like to hear from both of the defendants starting with Jacob Jones jr,"the judge says as Jake stands up with a grin on his face probably thinking because he's going first he's going to win.

"Your honor I have as much right to my children as my lovely wife here, and she'll be telling you why she deserves the kids instead of me but children need their father just as much as they need their mother, maybe even more. I was the one who spent days with them while she was busy working so shouldn't the parent who spend the most time with them get custody. Thank you for your time, your honor, I trust you'll make the better choice"Jake says as he sits down and gives Jen the same look.

"Thank you, Mr. Jones, now Mrs. Mosley-Jones, you may give your side,"The judge says as Jen stands up.

"Your honor my husband has made several good points but I would like to clear some things up. The reason he was the one to stay home with the kids is because he hasn't held down a job since we were in college and still hasn't been bothered to get one. He lives in a studio apartment and I still have the house our kids have grown up in. This isn't just my being angry with my husband, I won't even deny that I'm not, I still am but this is about my kids. They have not wanted to go to visitation day with their father because it is too stressful. Kids that age shouldn't have kind of stress, I am asking you to give me custody because I personally believe it is what is best for our children, and if you decide they are better off their father I'll believe you, but please do what's best for our children. Thank you"Jen says before she sits down and Andy tells her she did a good job.

The judge says he'll need some time to think it over and they'll be taking a short recess.

When Jen gets outside of the courtroom she checks her phone and sees a message from her Mom saying how excited she is to see her and the kids that weekend.

Damn, she completely forgot about that.

She momentarily considers backing out, but the kids had been so excited to see their Grandparents, and she couldn't take that away from them.

Just then Andy tells her the judge made his choice and they all head back to the courtroom.

The judge agrees with Jen and she is granted sole custody.

There are congratulations from Andy and a dirty look from Jake, but she knows that won't be the only dirty look she'll get that weekend.

* * *

**Simon Nelson-Cook**

* * *

**Manhattan, New York**

* * *

The release date for the new Cook phone was getting closer, so Simon was spending more and more nights sleeping on the couch in his office than at home with his wife and kids.

His wife Lisa wasn't too happy about it, she said that their kids had barely seen their father over the past week and she was getting tired of explaining that he was working.

Simon missed his wife and kids a lot but he had to keep working on the phone as there was still a few bugs to work out and with less than a month till they were supposed to be released that was time Simon didn't have.

But he did manage to sneak away around noon on Friday and went home.

The girls would be at school, but Lisa and Evan should be at home.

"Daddy's home,"Simon says as he opens the door with flowers for Lisa and a teddy bear for Evan in hand.

"Daddy"Evan yells as he runs toward his dad on his tiny two-year-old legs.

"Hey who's my favorite guy in the world,"Simon asks picking up his son into his arms.

"Me,"Evan asks fingering the teddy bear.

"That's right. Hey look what I got you,"Simon says as he sets Evan on the ground and hands Evan the teddy bear.

"Thank you, Daddy,"Evan says hugging his new toy.

Just then Lisa enters the room and watches the exchange between her husband and son, she smiles.

"Hey, buddy why don't you go play with your new friend while I talk to Mommy okay,"Simon says as he looks his two-year-old in the eye.

"Okay Daddy,"Evan says as he runs past his Mom still holding his teddy bear.

Simon stands up and picks up the flowers of the ground and hands them to his lovely wife.

"For you, my lady,"Simon says as she takes the flowers.

"Daisies you remembered,"Lisa says as she sniffs the flowers.

"How could I forget I had to talk you out of naming both of our daughters Daisy,"Simon says laughing at the memory.

"Well if we ever have another daughter..."Lisa says still pushing the name.

"No, how you been baby,"Simon says as he kisses his wife.

"Fine just packing and getting the kids ready,"Lisa says talking as if Simon knew what she was talking about.

"Are you taking the kids somewhere or something?"Simon asks to his wife's disappointed face.

"You forgot,"Lisa says as she goes into the kitchen.

"No, I didn't it's our anniversary,"Simon says to total silence.

"Your birthday,"he asks again.

Now completely out of ideas he says,"My birthday".

"It's nobody's birthday,"Lisa says coming back with a vase for the flowers.

"Then why are you mad at me,"Simon asks joining her in the dining room.

"Because you completely forgot about the reunion,"Lisa says putting the vase with the flowers on the dining room table.

"The reunion,"asks Simon still confused.

"You know James K. Polk Middle school,where we went the reunion is tomorrow and we're going,"Lisa says using the same no-nonsense voice she uses with the kids.

"I remember but I didn't realize it was this weekend, this weekend is no good,"Simon says although he knows what comes next.

"This weekend is good because we have barely seen you all week and we haven't seen our friends in at least fifteen years,"Lisa says coming over and standing right in front of him.

"I'm not getting out of this I'm I,"Simon asks although he knows what the answer is.

"No, you're not. Look we'll have the weekend then you can go back to work and work to your heart's content until the phone comes out, okay"says Lisa and Simon knew he was toast.

"Fine we'll go,"Simon says as Lisa kisses him on the cheek.

"I knew you would,"she says as she goes into the living room to check on Evan.

Simon wondered who would all be there.

Susie Crabgrass and Missy Meany, they'd be there for sure they live for this.

Loomer if he wasn't in prison.

What about Ned and Moze.

God, he hadn't seen them since that night.

Wow, has it been thirteen years already?

He knew now he would be there for sure just for a chance to see Bigfoot and Santa at the same time.


	3. Chapter 2

**Syracuse,New York**

* * *

**Ned**

* * *

He pulled up to the school in his Mom's old, beat up, mini-van.

First time back in town in ten years and way to make a good impression Ned.

He sees a few of his old classmates enter the school.

Coconut head still has the same dorky haircut.

Claire Sawyer still wearing suits.

Backpack boy with a backpack.

Ned sat in the car for a few more minutes waiting to see if he could pick her out of the crowd.

There is no way she would come back here, not after what he did to her.

God, he was a jerk back then.

He checked his phone for the fourth time in twenty minutes, hoping there was a message from his parents or from one of the girls telling him to come back home.

No such luck.

Okay, this has gone on long enough.

Ned gets out of the car and starts walking towards the building when he is pinned against the wall.

"Hey Bigby, long time no see,"Loomer says still pinning Ned against the wall.

"Loomer, you look great. Can you put me down?"Ned asks trying to break free from Loomer's tight grip.

"Why should I,"Loomer taunts.

"I'll give you fifty bucks,"Ned says reaching for his wallet.

"Done,"Loomer says as he lets Ned go so fast he hits the pavement.

Hard.

"Nice thanks, Bigby,"Loomer says looking in the wallet Ned had dropped.

"Or I could have just given you the money,"Ned says watching Loomer sift through his wallet.

"Whoa Bigby how much cash do you have,"Loomer asks picking up several bills out of Ned's wallet.

"Look I promised you fifty, so fifty"Ned says taking back his wallet from Loomer and giving him a fifty dollar bill from inside it.

"Ok fine fifty, it's more than you ever gave me before,"Loomer says putting the bill into his pocket.

"So Loomer what are you up to nowadays?"Ned asks rubbing his neck.

"Not much I'm married, got a kid and I'm the wrestling coach here actually,"Loomer explains.

"That's cool,"Ned says still rubbing his neck.

"Well, I should probably go. Susie is probably looking for me,"Loomer says as he starts to walk away but Ned stops him.

"What, what, what you're married to Susie Crabgrass?"Ned asks.

"Yeah, for god, five years now. We reconnected after she moved back to town. Anyway see you in there Bigby"Loomer says as he punches Ned in the arm and goes back into the building.

Ned rubs his arm in pain, he hadn't even gone into the building yet and he's lost fifty bucks and has basically gotten beaten up by Loomer again.

Maybe he should just go home and forget about it.

"Hey look who it is, Mr. Big Shot,"says a voice coming from the doors.

Ned turns around and sees his old friend Cookie standing at the door holding a red plastic cup.

"Takes a big shot to know a big shot. Hey man,"Ned says as he goes over and hugs Cookie.

"Hey, I heard about Kim. I'm really sorry man,"Cookie says after they pull apart.

"Can you do me a favor and not talk about it?"Ned says almost forgetting about his wife.

"Yeah sure. Of course, and hey let me be the first to say to you tonight, I love your show man"Cookie says taking a sip of his drink.

"You're just saying that,"Ned says as they head inside the building.

"No, I am not, I watch it with my kids. Their big fans"Cookie says still taking sips of his drink.

"Well thanks, and I love your phones. In fact, I love them so much I gave them out to everybody on my staff"Ned says pulling out his own phone out of his pocket to show he was telling the truth, then putting it away.

"Well, shucks thanks. Want to go get a drink"Cookie says motioning in the direction of the gym.

"God yes,"Ned says as they start walking.

"So what's life for you like, besides being a billionaire tech mogul in New York,"Ned asks as they walk.

"Not a lot, I'm married,"Cookie says as he points to a ring on his finger.

"Your kidding, who's the lucky girl?"Ned asks.

"Lisa Zemo,"says Cook with a dreamy look on his face.

"You and Lisa are still together,"Ned asks, shocked.

"Yep, we married right after college, and we have three great kids. Karla, the eldest is ten, Caroline is seven, and baby Evan is two,"Cookie says with the same look on his face Ned has when he talks about his girls.

Pride.

"Wow, that's great,"Ned says.

"And you have three girls right. Holly, Sarah and Kayla, their six right,"Cookie says trying to remember.

"Yeah, how'd you know that?"Ned asks confused.

"I have friends in high places and I read that in the paper after Kim died,"Cookie says as he finds something at the bottom of his cup very interesting.

"Well just as long as you're not spying on me,"Ned says as he taps Cookie on the arm and starts to into the gym.

"Ned wait, there's something you should know,"Cookie says trying to get Ned to turn around.

"Whatever it is can wait until after I get a beer,"Ned says walking into the gym and stopping dead in his tracks.

He then sees what Cookie was trying to tell him.

She looked pretty much the same,her hair was shorter and she had lost some weight,but there was no denying it was her.

The girl who's heart he broke,Jennifer Ann Mosley, in the flesh.

* * *

**Jen**

* * *

Jen was talking to Lisa Zemo and Claire Sawyer when she saw him.

Ned

He was just standing there staring at her, so he was hard to miss.

"I'll be right back,"Jen says to her old friends and stood up and started walking.

"Ned,"Jen says as she stands in front of him.

"Moze,"Ned says using the nickname she hasn't heard in years.

"It's Jen now,"Jen says correcting him.

"Oh okay,"Ned says.

They're silent for a few seconds before she starts talking again,"So how you been".

"Fine you,"Ned says looking down at his shoes.

"Great,"Jen says as Cookie walks up to them.

"Well look at that the three of us back together again,"Cookie says putting his arms around their shoulders.

"Yeah great,"Ned and Jen say at the same time.

"So Moze, Ned is the creator of Ted's Guide to Surviving School. Did you know that?"Cookie asks trying to make conversation.

"Oh yeah my kids love that show, and every time I watch it with them I have to watch your name flash across the screen, it's great,"Jen says only slightly sarcastic.

"Alright then touchy subject. Ned did you know Moze is the top architects in DC"Cookie says not moving his arms from his friend's shoulders.

"Well, not the top but I work with the top firm in DC and I'm currently being scouted by a firm in LA,"Jen says bragging a little.

"Oh that's cool,"Ned says, not entirely lying.

"Well this is going well, so the two of you are both single parents. That's something,"Cookie says running out of ideas.

"I asked you not to talk about that,"Ned says under his breath.

"No you asked me not to talk about Kim, you being a single parent is fair game,"Cookie says not seeing his mistake.

"What Kim didn't work out. Who saw that coming, oh right me"Jen says with a hint of pride in her voice.

"That's not what happened,"Ned says still under his breath.

"What happened, she run off with the pool boy,"Jen says almost laughing.

"She killed herself,"Ned says finally speaking up.

There is another awkward moment of silence ended with Cookie saying,"Oh what's that. Coming Lisa"as he runs off in the direction of his wife.

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea,"Jen says as she puts her hand over her mouth.

"It's fine, let's just drop it,"Ned says looking around.

"It is not fine. When?"Jen asks taking her hands away from her mouth.

"About six months ago,"Ned says once again looking at his shoes.

"I am so sorry if you need anything,"Jen says still feeling like a terrible person.

"I said let's drop it,"Ned says as he walks away and towards the bar.

Jen turns around and watches him go just as Cookie walks back over with a newly refilled drink.

"Give me that,"Jen demands taking Cookie's drink and gulping it down in a second.

"That was pure tequila,"Cookie says as Jen hands him back his now empty drink.

"How could you not tell me about his wife?"Jen asks now feeling the tequila,"And why are you drinking pure tequila?".

"I assumed you knew it was all over magazines about six months ago, and I don't drink like there's no tomorrow like you do so I can handle pure tequila,"Cookie says answering both of her questions.

"Well I didn't know so,oh god he probably thinks I'm totally insensitive,"Jen says thinking that about herself.

"He knows you didn't know,"Cookie says still looking at his empty glass.

"That's not the point our first conversation in over thirteen years and I bring up his dead wife,"Jen says still freaking out.

"Look did you really think that conversation would go well?"Cookie asks.

"Well no but I didn't think it would be like that,"Jen says.

"It's still better than the conversation thirteen years ago,"Cookie says as Jen gives him a dirty look,"What, there was no screaming, no throwing things and the cops weren't called".

"Yeah I guess,"Jen says looking at her shoes.

"I'll go talk to him,"Cookie says going over to the bar and Ned.

Jen stood there thinking, she had never seen him that upset.

Those brown eyes of his so sad, the same eyes she looked into every day.

If she wasn't sure before she was sure now.

* * *

**Simon**

* * *

Ned hammered down a shot when Simon came up and sat beside him.

"Can you refill this. Tequila"Simon says handing the bartender his empty glass.

"I'll have that too,"Ned says not making eye contact.

"Hey she didn't know,"Simon says trying to get Ned to look at him.

"I got that,"Ned says not looking at him.

The bartender brings them their drinks, Simon takes a sip of his while Ned looks at it for a second before putting his face in his hands and asking,"Did I make a mistake Cook".

"Yes we really shouldn't be drinking tequila,"Simon asks putting down his drink.

"No picking Kim over Moze?"Ned asks putting his hands down.

"What do you think?"Simon asks.

"Well because I picked Kim I got the girls and I wouldn't trade them for anything,"Ned says finally picking up his drink and taking a sip.

"Well then you didn't make a mistake if the only good thing came of you and Kim together are those girls so be it,"Simon says.

"Why do you assume they were the only good things,"Ned asks making eye contact with Simon for the first time since he sat down.

"Because you're doubting the decision. If it was good you wouldn't be doubting yourself, but the question is how bad was it, and you don't have to answer that if you don't want to,"Simon says taking another sip of his drink.

"It was pretty bad, we were barely talking at the end,"Ned says still sipping his drink.

"Hey it's not your fault,"Cookie says setting down his drink and looks right at Ned.

"I'd like to believe that, but right know I just can't,"Ned says grimly.

"If it makes you feel any better, Moze is getting a divorce,"Cookie says finishing his drink and turning the cup upside down.

"Why would that make me feel better?"Ned asks.

"She's getting a divorce from Jake Jones,"Simon says motioning to the bartender that he was finished.

"Jake Jones, that jackass she dated in collage,"Ned asks remembering the time Jake Jones had wrapped his car around a tree when he got drunk.

"Yeah, apparently their thirteen-year-old found him in bed with their neighbor,"Simon says as he watches Ned's entire face change.

"They have a thirteen-year-old,"Ned asks.

"Yeah, I don't remember his name it starts with a P or something. Why"Simon says taking a sip of his newly filled drink.

"Moze has a thirteen-year-old son and the last time we slept together was nearly fourteen years ago. Doesn't that strike you as a little odd, and it's also odd she didn't tell me,"Ned says his thoughts racing a mile a minute.

"Oh god, you don't think?"Simon asks.

"That's what I'm going to find out,"Ned says getting up and walking away from the bar.

Simon sits there for a second then finishes the rest of his drink, thinking to himself why did I come to this thing.


	4. Chapter 3

**Ned**

* * *

"I need to talk to you,"Ned says as he drags Moze up from her chair, leads her out of the gym and into the hallway.

He looks around for somewhere quiet to talk when he sees a door and goes in there.

Not realizing it the girl's bathroom.

He is thrown out a second later.

"Why does that keep happening?"Ned asks as he stumbles back to Moze who had waited outside.

"Alright, what do you want to talk about?"Moze asks.

"I was just informed, by Cookie, that you have a thirteen-year-old son,"Ned says trying to phrase his words carefully so they don't come out all at once.

"Yeah so,"Moze asks thinking he can't really be asking what she thinks he's asking.

"I need to know, is he mine?"Ned asks still a little bit in shock.

"Why, why would you think that?"Moze stammers as she starts to wring her hands, he was getting closer.

"The last time we slept together was thirteen and some months ago. When was your son born?"Ned asks needing to know for sure.

"Alright fine, he's your son. You happy now?"Moze asks not wanting to lie anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me?"Ned asks raising his voice.

"When I found out I was pregnant you'd already left for California with Kim, and when I told Jake he offered to marry me because he thought the baby was his. I wasn't sure, but I told myself that it was Jake's baby it had to be, but after he was born I knew. He looks just like you"Moze says smiling thinking of her eldest son.

"What's his name"Ned asks.

"Parker"Moze answers as she pulls her wallet out of her purse and a school picture of Parker.

"This was taken three years ago, he's changed a lot since then,"she says handing Ned the picture.

Ned takes it looking at it for a long minute and smiling,"I'd like to meet him"Ned finally says.

"I don't know if that's a good idea,"Moze says regretting telling Ned anything.

"What do you mean,"Ned asks confused.

"Look, I'm going through a messy divorce and it's hard enough for him right now, then to throw this on top of it. It's just too much,"Moze says not saying the real reason.

"Well if you're not going to let me meet him why'd you tell me,"Ned asks.

"I don't know, maybe because I was tired of keeping it a secret because I thought on some level you'd changed, but I was wrong your still the same selfish jerk you've always been,"Moze says getting angry.

"What the hell are you talking about?"Ned asks still holding the picture of his son.

"You left me for some blonde bimbo. You didn't even care"Moze says saying what she had been holding in a long time.

"Did I cheat on you with Kim, yes, but if you don't forget I also cheated on Kim with you okay, and don't forget Jake wasn't the only one who cheated"Ned says regretting the last part the second he said it.

"You don't know what you're talking about,"Moze says realizing he was right, but not wanting to admit it.

"Yes I do, you both cheated, you're both cheaters and do you want to know the difference between us,"Ned looking directly at her.

"What?"Moze asks.

"I owned up to my mistake, Kim knew all about it and she forgave me,"Ned says finally remembering why he loved Kim so much.

She knew he was human and that he made mistakes, but in the end that wasn't enough.

"Oh, did she, was this before or after she killed herself?"Moze asks.

"That is not why she did it okay,"Ned says raising his voice.

"Well I'm sure it had nothing to do with you,"Moze says without really thinking.

"It had everything to do with me okay, I worked too much, I was never home and she couldn't take it. That's why okay,"Ned says.

"This is so typical Ned, always having to be the center of attention,"Moze says.

"What do you want me to say?"Ned asks.

"I don't know,"Moze says.

"Do you want me to say that it was a mistake to pick Kim over you, well it was it's the biggest regret of my life,"Ned says, saying what he didn't say to Cookie.

The Truth.

"That's not what I meant,"Moze says.

"What did you mean,"Ned asks.

"I want an apology,"Moze says finally getting it out.

"Fine I'm sorry, there you happy now?"Ned asks raising his voice yet again.

"No, I'm not because I will never forget what you did to me, and stay the hell out of our lives,"Moze says before she runs off in the other direction.

"Moze, Moze,"Ned calls after her.

When she doesn't turn around he takes another look at the picture in his hand, the picture of his son.

Moze was right he looks just like Ned when he was ten.

This was a photo of the child he may never know.

* * *

**Jen**

* * *

Jen ran into the first available room the hallway over where she left Ned holding a picture of her son, their son.

She lets the door slam behind her, sits down on the chair right next to the door and breaks down in tears.

When Ned broke her heart all those years ago she swore she would never cry again, even after everything that happened with Jake, she hadn't shed a tear. Now her she was crying over the man who caused her to never cry again.

"Are you okay?"asks

a voice coming from the other side of the room.

"I'm fine,"Jen chokes and looks up.

There standing in the same clothes he wore basically every day she'd know him, was Gordy.

"Gordy?"asks Jen in disbelief.

"Oh my god Moze is that you,"Gordy asks pulling up another chair.

"It's Jen now, but yeah it's me,"Jen says wiping away some of her tears.

"What's wrong,"Gordy asks once again.

"It's Ned and all of his stupid crap,"Jen says.

"Yeah, I know Cookie has been texting me all night filling me in on what's doing on,"Gordy says taking an old flip phone out of his pocket.

"Well Cookie was right to tell you, I need someone to talk to and I don't want to explain everything,"Jen says still wiping tears away.

"You want to talk let's talk. What do you want to talk about,"Gordy asks still holding his phone.

"Well Ned found out that my son is also his son and..."Jen says before Gordy interrupts her.

"Wait so you and Ned have a kid together. Wow didn't see that one coming"Gordy says shocked.

"Ignoring that comment, Ned wants to see him, and I'm not so sure that's a good idea,"Jen says now having stopped crying.

"Well why not,"Gordy asks confused.

"Because it's too much. I'm going through a bad divorce and he's been through so much already I can't put this on top of everything else, and what would I even say to him. Parker your Dad isn't your Dad, your real Dad is the guy who broke my heart"Jen says fighting the urge to cry again.

"Look I get that this isn't the best time to tell him, but he has to know,"Gordy says putting his phone away.

"No he doesn't, I can just lie to him forever and keep up the charade that my jackass soon to be ex-husband is his father,"Jen says thinking that could work.

"Look Moze, Jen, I think on some level he already knows,"Gordy says remembering her new nickname.

"What do you mean?"Jen asks confused.

"Your jackass soon to be ex-husband and your son, are they close,"Gordy asks as if he knows what he's talking about.

"No, and since Parker found Jake in bed with that slut, they've barely spoken,"Jen says thinking of every insult Parker has said to Jake both to his face and behind his back.

"Do you have other children?"Gordy asks for some reason.

"Yes, we have three other children"Jen answers, still confused.

"And these kids are your husband's?"Gordy asks trying not to be rude.

"Yes of course,"Jen says, knowing why he needed to ask.

"Well has Jake ever unintentionally treated Parker differently than his siblings,"Gordy asks.

"Well yeah, Jake would take Alec or the girls to something even if Parker wanted to do something else more often than normal, but I tried to make sure that didn't happen too much,"Jen says thinking of all of those times in question.

"Okay one more question, do you or Jake look anything like Parker?"Gordy asks for the last time.

"He has my eyes, but no him and Jake look nothing alike,"Jen says thinking of all of the times that was pointed out to her, and all the times she covered for herself.

"Well with all of those things together, the thought has probably crossed Parker's mind at least once and from what you've told me I don't think he would be surprised or would mind if he found that Jake isn't his father. Plus he would love the idea of having a millionaire father in Hollywood. That's every kid's dream"Gordy says.

"When did you get so smart?"Jen asks shocked at what Gordy had just said.

"I started to take a psychology class at night,"Gordy says taking a book off of the table for her to see.

"Okay even if your right which I'm not saying you are what should I do?"Jen asks still looking at the textbook.

"Well you should tell Parker everything, well everything at a G rating, and then let him decide what he wants to do. Whether or not he wants to meet Ned or work on his relationship with Jake,"Gordy says putting his book down.

"Okay, I'll do that,"Jen says realizing she was actually going to do that.

"So are you going back to the party?"Gordy asks and looks like he is in the process of standing up depending on her answer.

"No, I think I'm just going to wait here for a while, so this whole thing can blow over,"Jen says fingering her purse.

"Alright I'll wait with you,"Gordy says sitting way back down in his chair again.

"You don't have to do that,"Jen says meaning it.

"Well I could go to the party, but then I would have a bunch of people I've cleaned up after asking if I thought them third period English,"Gordy says a little snippy.

"Okay, what do you want to do?"Jen asks realizing they had nothing to do besides talk about her messed up life.

"I have a tv and the complete first season of Ted's Guide to Surviving School on Blu-ray,"Gordy says pulling the DVD out of the cabinet under the tv.

"Sure why not, I'm probably going to get child support payments from Ned no matter what I do, so let's see what I'll be getting,"Jen says jokingly.

"That's the spirit,"Gordy says putting in the DVD.

* * *

**Simon**

* * *

Ned came back a few minutes after he dragged Moze out of the gym and went straight to the bar.

That meant either Moze's kid was Ned and they had a big blowout over the kid or it wasn't his kid and they still had a big blowout.

Either way, they had a big fight.

"So Parker could be Ned's son. Wow, I told you it was a good idea to come,"Lisa says after Simon fills her in.

"Well if I didn't come they would never have found out, they would have avoided each other the whole night and things would have gone back to normal,"Simon says looking at his wife hoping she would say it wasn't his fault.

"No honey, normal is the three of you best friends, not this,"Lisa says describing their current situation.

"That was the old normal, this is the new normal, the normal we have to deal with,"Simon says taking a sip of his drink.

"How did we get into this situation in the first place,"Lisa asks although she knew the story.

"Once upon a time during our sophomore year of college at Georgetown we met Kimberly Renee Adams, a transfer student from UCLA,"Cookie says finishing off his drink.

"What are you doing?"Lisa asks.

"Well you wanted to hear a story and this is how I tell a story so sit still and listen,"Simon says still in his story voice.

"Okay,"Lisa says in the voice she uses to tell stories to her kids.

"Anyway, Ned and Moze were still dating at this point and Moze's roommate moved back Iowa, so Moze and Kim became roommates, and since this was also around the time you were doing a semester abroad and I was a nervous wreck Ned spent a lot of time over with Kim and Moze,"Simon says.

"We're you really a wreck while I was in London?"Lisa asks, thus explaining all of the letters and phone calls she got.

"Don't interrupt the story, anyway when Moze's Aunt died she came back here for the funeral and Ned had to stay at school for a test, but he still hung out in Moze's room because I was still kind of a wreck, him and Kim got to talking and one night they got drunk and they hooked up. Ned felt bad so he told Moze and they broke up, but Ned and Kim started to go out so he was still always around even after Moze started dating Jake,"Simon says as the waiter refills his drink.

"This is like the plot of a bad movie,"Lisa says as the waiter leaves.

"I told you not to interrupt, anyway one night Jake and Moze and Ned and Kim both had big fights, Ned and Moze ran into each other at a party, got drunk and they hooked up in our room and that's how Parker may have come to be. Ned felt guilty, Moze wanted to know where that guilt was for her, then I came back from the library and got roped into the whole thing and there was yelling and throwing things and someone called the cops and we all spent the night in jail,"Simon says thinking of the worst night of his life, for multiple reasons.

"I can just picture you in jail,"Lisa says laughing at the thought.

"We're almost done so no more interrupting. The next thing we know Kim transferred back to UCLA and Ned went with her, then Moze was pregnant, she and Jake got married and she started working during the day and going to school at night. We just never saw each other after that,"Simon says finishing his drink.

"Is there any way we can get them back together?"Lisa asks thinking.

"That's up to them, and can I finish that,"asks Simon taking his wife's drink before she could say anything.

"Wait there isn't any alcohol in this. Why are you drinking a nonalcoholic"Simon asks before he asked again, "Wait, you bringing up the whole Daisy name debate again and now this. Are you?".

"I wanted to wait until I was sure,"Lisa says with a smile.

"We're going to be parents,"Simon says in shock.

"We're already parents, but yes we'll be parents,"Lisa says as she kisses her husband.

"And if we have a daughter we can name her Daisy,"Simon says still kissing her.

"Really,"Lisa asks exited.

"Think of it as my gift to you for working too much,"Simon says as they sit right back down in their chairs to face each other.

"Maybe by the time she's born, she could know her aunt Moze and Uncle Ned,"Lisa says hopefully.

"We can always hope,"Simon says watching Ned at the bar drinking his sorrows away.


	5. Chapter 4

**Ned**

* * *

Ned was having more drinks tonight then he'd had the entire last year, but he didn't care.

All he could think about was the fact his own child probably didn't even know he existed, that was worse than any pain he'd ever felt.

Thus the drinking.

"Well Mr. Bigby I didn't expect to see you here,"says a voice from behind him.

Ned turns to see his old science teacher, Mr. Sweeney.

He didn't look like he'd aged all that much since Ned left Pulk twenty years ago, Ned had thought he'd be long dead by now.

"I'm not in the mood Sweeney,"Ned says looking at his old teacher and then back to his drink.

"Is that you talking or the whiskey?"Sweeney asks giving Ned's now empty drink to the bartender.

"It's gin,"Ned says wringing his hands.

"Now you must have a big problem for you to be drowning it in alcohol,"Sweeney says sitting down beside Ned.

"How do you know this isn't how I solve all my problems?"Ned asks.

"Because whether you like it or not I know you Mr. Bigby, and I know this isn't the way you solve your problems. You come up with a crazy scheme that will inevitably blow up in your face, but drinking was never your foretay. Now, why don't you tell me what's bothering you"Sweeney says looking Ned right in the eye as he spoke.

"I just found out I have a child I'll probably never get to meet,"Ned says to the pity on Sweeney's face.

"I see why your drinking,"Sweeney says.

"It's just if she didn't want me to meet him why did she tell me. Is she trying to torture me?"Ned asks as the bartender pours him another drink.

"I don't think she's trying to torture you,"Sweeney says.

"What do you know,"Ned says hammering down his drink.

"Maybe she's just trying to protect her child, and this is the only way she knows how to. She's protecting her child from getting hurt"Sweeney says as the bartender brings him a drink.

"I guess,"Ned says as the bartender refills his drink.

"Believe it or not, I actually know what you're going through,"Sweeney says taking a sip of his beer.

"Is this some bizarre moment where you tell me you're my father?"Ned asks smiling.

"No, I'm not your father, but I made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I've made a lot of mistakes as a father,"Sweeney says as he reaches into his pocket, pulls out his wallet and then a photograph.

"This is Celia, my daughter,"Sweeney says handing Ned a photo of a blonde little girl.

"I had no idea,"Ned says handing Sweeney the picture back.

"No one does. Her mother and I only dated for a few months when she got pregnant, I offered to marry her, but she said she was in love with someone else and he was going to raise the baby with her. This is the only picture she ever sent me, and that was thirty years ago"Sweeney says looking at the picture with regret.

"That's too bad, I'm sorry, but no offense why are you telling me this"Ned says as Sweeney puts the picture back into his wallet.

"Because I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. Although she's protecting her child, she doesn't understand how much she's hurting you, and sometimes it is better to keep the father away, but I've always known you'd be a good father, and any child would be lucky to call you Dad"Sweeney says as Ned looks away.

"I don't think I am. My daughter has barely talked to me since her mother died, and I can't seem to do anything right with her. With her sisters it's easy, but with Kayla. I've tried everything, I'm doing everything right, but nothing"Ned says taking a sip of his drink.

"Maybe you should stop doing everything right, and start being her Dad. She just needs to know that you're not going anywhere and that you'll always be there for her"Sweeney says as Ned nods.

"Yeah, I think your right"Ned say as Cookie runs up to him and Sweeney.

"Ned, come on we gotta go,"Cookie says as he attempts to drag Ned out of his chair.

"Cookie, what's going on,"Ned says as he turns to face Cookie.

"It's an emergency,come on we gotta go,"Cookie says as Ned stands up.

"Okay, see you later Sweeney,"Ned says as he's about to leave but turns back to Sweeny.

"Thirty years is long enough, don't make it thirty-one,"Ned says as Sweeny nods,Ned and Cookie then run out of the gym.

* * *

**Jen**

* * *

After watching the first two episodes of Ted's Guide to Surviving School, Gordy went to go get some soda's from the vending machine, leaving Jen sitting in a janitor's closet alone.

Ten minutes later the door opens and Ned walks inside, closing the door behind him.

"What the hell"Ned says as he sees Jen then tries to open the door, only to find it locked,"Cookie".

"Cookie, open this door,"Jen demands as she stands up and bangs on the door in an attempt to open it.

"Who's Cookie,I don't know this Cookie, but he sounds very handsome,"Cookie says from the other side of the door, pretending to be an old woman.

"Cookie this isn't funny, open this door,"Ned says banging on the door again.

"No, not until you work this out,"Gordy says also through the door.

"Gordy this really isn't funny,"Jen says.

"Nether is this, you guys belong together, and this argument is petty. When you work it out, then we'll let you go,"Cookie says as Ned leans against the door, defeated.

"Cookie, we'll never work this out. We'll be here forever"Jen says banging on the door again.

"Go ahead we'll wait,"Gordy says as Jen goes back over to her chair with a huff.

"This is insane,"Jen says as Ned turns to face her.

"So you're speaking to me now,"Ned asks leaning against the door.

"I was never not speaking to you,"Jen says turning away."

"Really, because I distinctly remember you saying that if I didn't lose your number and forget your address you'd have the national guard come and shoot me,"Ned says smirking.

"After what you did to me, you deceived it,"Jen says sitting back down.

"You know all I'm hearing is what I did to you,how I hurt you. How I'm such a jerk, but what I'm not hearing is an apology from you"Ned says as Jen glares at him.

"An apology, I'd sooner cut off my own hand then apologize to you,"Jen says.

"Again with the drama,"Ned says walking to the other side of the room.

"Again with you being a narcissistic bastard,"Jen says as Ned turns back to her.

"It was one moment of weakness, you know what make it two because I regret sleeping with you that last time"Ned declares.

"Are you telling me you regret our son?"Jen asks standing up.

"So he is mine because based on the way you were talking he was all yours, and how can I regret someone I've never met"Ned yells.

"He is all mine, you don't deserve to know him"Jen yells.

"If I had just known"Ned starts to say.

"If you'd just known,you would have what, dumped Kim, run back to Georgetown. I know you, Ned Bigby if you'd known you wouldn't have done a damn thing"Jen yells.

"Stop acting like you know me, you don't,"Ned says.

"Oh, I know you, if you had known about Parker, you wouldn't have done anything because you're selfish. I know it, you know it. Hell even Kim knew it,and that's why she stuck her head in the oven"Jen says immediately regretting her words.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that,"Jen says as Ned walks past her and starts fiddling with the doorknob.

After a moment of silence, Ned quietly says,"She took an overdose, she didn't stick her head in the oven. She took a bunch of drugs then went to sleep".

"Ned,"Jen says before Ned continues.

"She'd been depressed for months, she had tried a few weeks before, she tried to drown herself in our pool, but I stopped had stopped her. Kayla had gotten sick at school, and our Nanny brought her home. I told her not to leave the girls with Kim when she was alone, but Kim told her that I was upstairs, and she believed her. Kim got the sleeping pills I'd been taking to fall asleep, mixed half of them into Kayla's chocolate milk, she took the rest. The school called and told me that Kayla had gotten sick, and the nanny told me she dropped Kayla off at home, with Kim. I raced to the house, Kim was dead, Kayla had thrown up most of the drugs, and the doctors in the ER brought her back, but she hasn't forgiven me, she thinks it's my fault. I should have been there, I should have been there"Ned says tears streaming down his face.

"This wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known,"Jen says as Ned cries harder.

"But I should have, I should have been there, I could have stopped her. I could have saved her,"Ned says in between the sobs.

Jen walks over to Ned and pulls him into her arms.

"It wasn't your fault, it's wasn't your fault"Jen repeats over and over as Ned counties to sob.

For a minute, Jen forgets she supposed to hate him, she forgets all of the pain he's caused her.

That is the moment Jen falls back in love with Ned, and the moment Ned falls back in love with Jen, even though he never really stopped.

* * *

**Simon**

* * *

Simon and Gordy were sitting on the floor outside of the janitors closet, passing a bottle of vodka between them, like two hobos under an overpass.

"Where's my life going Cook, I've been doing this for over twenty years, and I hate it. I have to will myself to get out of bed in the morning,"Gordy says handing Simon the bottle back.

"I haven't slept in my own bed in over a month, I've been too busy, trying to provide for the family I never see, working on a phone everyone will forget about in a year, and then, the cycle continues,"Simon says after drinking from the bottle.

"But you're a millionaire, can't you just hire someone to, well do your job for you,"Gordy asks before drinking from the bottle.

"Maybe. I think along the way, this just stopped being fun. Do you know when I started my company, I was a kid in a smelly dorm room fixing smartphones for cash, trying to get his mind off his two best friends moving on. I miss that kid. Where did he go Gordy?"Simon asks as Gordy hands him the bottle.

"He's still there, he just had to take a step back to let the adult you have the reins for a little bit, but that doesn't mean he's gone. You can always find him, hell we're getting drunk in a school hallway off of stolen booze, I think we found him already"Gordy says as Simon laughs.

"Lisa's pregnant,"Simon says out of nowhere.

"Congratulations man, I'll drink to that"Gordy says taking another drink from the bottle.

"I don't want my family to be second best, they need to be first best, all the time,"Simon says as Gordy hands him the bottle back.

"I think I need a new challenge, I've been doing this for too long, it's becoming too easy, I know what to expect from this building. I need a new adventure"Gordy says as Simon takes a drink from the bottle.

"Do you know what's an adventure?"Simon asks setting the empty bottle onto the linoleum.

"What,"Gordy asks looking to Simon.

"New York City. I could always use a good guy like you at my company"Simon says.

"Me, I don't know anything about phones,"Gordy says.

"But you know about people. Did you know about you that you gave me the idea for the company,"Simon says as Gordy looks at him shocked.

"Really, I did,"Gordy says still shocked.

"Yeah.I was twelve,hiding in your closet from Loomer and his gang, and you said to me, One day you're going to come up with an idea that's so extraordinary, so revolutionary, you'll make a zillion dollars and leave this place in your dust, and Loomer would be working for me. You got me to make my mark on the world and I did. If it wasn't for you, I'd be stuck in this building forever."Simon explains.

"I had no idea,"Gordy says.

"Your words have power Gordy, it got me where I am, and it probably got others where they are,"Simon says as Gordy nods.

"So how much would I be making, if I came and worked for you,"Gordy asks as Simon smiles.

"Well there wouldn't be a company without you, so twenty percent of what I make,"Simon says thinking.

"How much is that,"Gordy asks as Simon motions to him to move closer.

He does and Simon whispers the very large number into Gordy's ear.

"Holy crap, are you God or something?"Gordy asks shocked.

"Some days, my friend, some days"Simon says.

"And that's yearly,"Gordy asks as Simon smiles up at him.

"Monthly,"Simon says as Gordy looks even more shocked.

"When do I start,"Gordy asks as Lisa rounds the corner.

"There you are, I've been looking everywhere,"Lisa asks looking down at Simon and Gordy.

"Why we're right here,"Gordy asks as Lisa glares at him.

"What the hell is going on, and where are Ned and Moze,"Lisa asks as Simon and Gordy tap onto the wall that faces the hallway from the closet.

"You locked them in a closet, are you insane,"Lisa asks as Simon holds his thumb and middle finger an inch apart then holds them up for his wife.

"Little bit great, well have they killed each other yet,"Lisa asks.

"It's been quiet the last little bit, so either their both dead or they're working it out. Either way, we're good,"Simon says.

"Are you drunk?"Lisa asks getting angry.

"Extremely,"Simon says as his wife pulls him to his feet.

"We're going,"Lisa says to her husband before looking back to Gordy,"You good"."

"I'm going to be a millionaire, I'm peachy,"Gordy says.

"Let's go,"Lisa says as she starts to pull Simon away.

"You start Monday, my friend. Nine am sharp don't be late"Simon yells back to Gordy.

"I won't"Gordy yells back before passing out of the floor.


End file.
